The Practice of Confession and Reconciliation
Part I of III
The Ancient Rite of Confession, now renamed Reconciliation stems from
daily individual practice of examination of conscience, recognition and
confession of sins, and repentance, resulting, over the course of time,
in a transformed, utterly changed, life.
Jesus Christ and the apostle Paul identify this as central to our
faith. See the beautiful passage in 2 Corinthians 5:14 – 21 where Paul
identifies Christian life as the ministry of reconciliation.
This practice is rooted in Baptism – at Baptism we are assured of the
power of God to overcome evil. We are assured that when we recognize,
confess and turn away from evil in our own lives, we are forgiven and
start over in new life. Every time we do this, we strengthen the new
life within us. Every time we fail to do this, we allow evil to steal
the precious energy of our lives away from the process of
transformation into new life promised to us in Jesus Christ. Our effort
is required. God does not force us to examine ourselves, recognize the
influences of evil and the habits of sin (selfishness) or turn away
from them. This part is truly up to us, and it requires effort to begin
to see what it really going on within us.
In the early church, Baptism was a rite practiced by adults and prior
to Baptism, three years of preparation was standard. Aspirants to the
Christian life lived with those in the community who were more mature
in their practice of the faith, and they learned from them. The
learning involved acquiring some knowledge, yes, but only in proportion
to the transformation of their being. In other words, most important
was that they practice disciplines of self-observation that would allow
them to see the limitations of the “old man” or “old woman” who was to
die so that they would wholeheartedly embrace the journey of Baptism to
new life in Christ. Without this transformation of one's being,
knowledge was understood to be of little use. Studying the Bible was
done in concert with putting this study into practice in daily life and
work, diligently and under the direct supervision of the elders and
one's godparents. It was an intimate way of learning, such as was
practiced by Jesus with his school of disciples.
Self-observation, examination of conscience, confession and repentance
were essential practices for both the aspiring and the already
initiated Christian.
Movement towards practice of daily confession –
Begin the day by intending to be aware, as much as
possible, of what you say, think, do and feel. Try to observe yourself
non-critically, in other words, to stay out of your own dramas and just
watch the feelings, thoughts, words, actions as they occur. This takes
earnest practice, over many years, but starting here and now is always
good. Whenever we start this with earnest intent, we will receive
divine assistance.
End the day by reviewing what has happened. What did you say,
how did you say it? How did you feel? What did you think about? What
did you do with your precious life energies today? Where do you wish
you had spent these precious energies on something higher?
At first, our awareness of our own sin comes to us through
others: they may give us the gift of actually telling us something we
said or did which was selfish. This is a great opportunity. Take it as
the gift that it is and receive the information without self-defense.
Take it in and reflect upon it non-judgmentally (don't beat yourself up
– remember that there is nothing you have not thought or done that has
not been done billions of times by all of us). You want to see it as
clearly as possible. This takes awhile, be patient with yourself, but
keep doing it.
The next step is when we begin to catch ourselves after indulging in a
selfish act or mood and want to change it. Go over things with
ruthlessly honest, but non-judgmental reflection. It may be good at any
time seek the help of someone in this process of reflection, especially
if you find yourself stuck on one event or series of circumstances. But
be sure the person you consult is rigorous in their own practice of
self-examination. You don't need someone encouraging you to indulge in
your old habits and not change because “everybody does that.”
Yes, it is true, everybody does do selfish things, and that's why
nothing changes in this world. We're here to live a new life, not
pretend that the old life is just fine. That's not the purpose of this
practice. It is not comfortable at first. Comfort comes from the
freedom from selfishness that results, so don't indulge in comforting
the ego in order to avoid recognizing and confessing one's selfishness.
The next step is when we begin to catch ourselves in mid-action. We
actually hear the tone of our own voice and want to change it. We know
its selfish or angry or proud or resentful and we want to change it.
That is a huge step.
Eventually, if we persist, we will also begin to catch the thoughts as
they come up, see how they are affecting us (and often the people
around us) negatively, and turn away from the thoughts themselves. This
is what Jesus taught his disciples to do.
Warning: the more you practice confession, the less you will be able to
blame your bad moods, attitudes and actions on other people, places,
things, circumstances. The more you practice confession, the more you
will find that you take responsibility for yourself and the more you
will see that your own inner state is what keeps you imprisoned in
negativity, not the outward circumstances. There are people in the
world who face situations of immense outward suffering with an inward
state that is free of negativity. These are examples of people who have
faced the worst within themselves, confessed, turned away, and become
strong to face reality without giving into negative inner states all
the time. If we continually indulge negative habits like self-pity,
worry, fear, anger, irritation, impatience, and all these other forms
of self-absorption, we are just weakening ourselves (or allowing evil
to weaken us, capture us). We grow strong for goodness when we come to
know these negative habits, become aware of them, turn away from them,
stop indulging them. This practice is transformative – and it is
central to true Christian practice. It purifies the heart for true
prayer, which is perhaps the greatest gift of this practice.
The Rev. Edie Bird
July 9, 2006
Return to St.
James' Home
Page 07.06