Agreeing & Disagreeing - in Love

It is time for me to pay due tribute to the most formative influence of my childhood: television. I can't read the story of the man born blind, in fact, I can't think of anything at all to do with blindness, without my mind immediately conjuring up the image of Mr. Magoo. Perhaps you remember Mr. Magoo – he walked through life blindly, convinced that all was well, and that he was doing good, while in fact, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. False innocence has a dark side. Even as a child, I somehow knew that Mr. Magoo was showing me something about myself, about my own blindness, and the way I naively refused to see that I could not see, and, as a result, there was danger to those around me from my blindness and my unwillingness to admit it. This became clearer to me when someone attached the nickname “Mr. Magoo” to me during my adolescence, and it stuck. A little like the Pharisees described today, I thought I could see and so I never seemed to realize that I couldn't – and what I didn't see, didn't hurt me, just everyone else in the vicinity.

Silly as it is to compare Jesus’ rebuke of the Pharisees with a cartoon, I do think this particular cartoon presents in humorous form, the dilemma that we face when it comes to honestly seeing our own blindness – we can't. That's the problem. Jesus could not bring healing to the Pharisees in their blindness because they did not see or believe that they needed any healing. What allowed Jesus to heal the man born blind, on the other hand, was the very stigma he carried for that physical blindness. He could not escape the knowledge that he was blind. And even if he tried, other people would remind him. They didn't remind the Pharisees, however, they seemed to buy the lie that the Pharisees were wise and spiritually mature just because they were honored in the world of religious power. People seemed to believe that they could see. No one dared to tell them they were blind – no one could see it – no one but Jesus, who did tell them, and told them directly.

And we too, hard as it is, need someone to tell us – we need someone who can hold up an objective mirror to us in order to begin to see.

When we do see, it is often shocking to us to realize how different the picture is than the picture we had fantasized and built up in our minds. Here's one of my silly self-pictures – I am so long-suffering, oh my, I forebear, I forebear all this terrible and misguided abuse and yet, I always do the right thing, and I'm so kind and compassionate and oh . . . . well, my children know it ain’t so and thank God, they don't mind telling me, and likewise, my best friend, who doesn't suffer such foolishness for even one minute. “Get over it, cause I'm not listening,” he'll say. And that's the best thing anyone can say, at least to me.

Because the truth is, if we do not see how ridiculous these pictures of ourselves are, if we don't see how blinded we are by them, we, like the Pharisees may do real harm. And that is not why we're here on this earth – we're here “to learn to bear the beams of love”, as William Blake says, we're here to seek and serve God. That's our calling. The Pharisees thought they were serving God, but Jesus says no, they are blind to the ambition that really drives them, the desire to prove themselves superior to others. There is a way out of that blindness, but it is a long, hard road.

Here is one of the ways out – this road map from the writings of St. Paul on working with other people entitled “Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love.” This has been floating around the church a long time, and yet, it takes more than a quick read and a nod to make this happen. This is real work, and it goes against the ways we have been conditioned to work with other people. If we don't first see our blindness, if we think we can actually see, and if we think we are actually doing these things here, without recognizing the ways that we are not, then Jesus can't heal us.

So let's look this over, with realistic humility and simple honesty, and hope that each one of us has a magic moment when we say “ooops!” Because ooops is the word here, ooops is the simple, honest, undefended way of acknowledging that we have missed the mark. Ooops! I didn't do that, I sure didn't hit the target, I didn't even see the target . . . I ooops!

So let's go, just quickly over these steps, and let's have a bunch of ooops moments, because then we can help each other, because then we won't be the blind trying to lead the blind, we'll be the people who can something trying to help the people who can see something else, and together, we might just get a bigger picture.

(Move into the 12 steps of Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love – a PDF version is available here).

So, the leaders of this community, the clergy, the Vestry, the Music director, Choir director and choir have all committed to try and keep on trying to use these steps in working together. I hope you'll help us. I hope that if you see that I am not doing this, you will tell me, so I can say “ooops” and get on track. I hope you'll do that with the other leaders too, and maybe we can all help one another to see our blindness more clearly, so that the glory of God can be revealed and Jesus can heal us.

Amen.


The Rev. Edie Bird
The 3rd Sunday of Lent, 2008

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